156 Daily Exercises

Well, I saw the surgeon on Tuesday, he looked at the X-rays and stuck me on the speediest path possible. Had pre-op testing and the usual blood letting on Thursday.  Left here @ 4:15 Monday.  Operation @ 10:20.  The anaesthesiogist turned out to be a fan – HE, SHE AND IT.  And he was handsome besides.When I was conscious again and wheeled up to my semi-private room, the aides started pushing water on me.  I never drank so much water in my life, although I regularly drink the full quota recommended.  in the morning, more of the same.  At 4 pm I threw up and then began a period in which I was mimicking a stroke.  I could think what I wanted to say.  A doctor would ask, Do you know where you are? I would think Beth-Israel Deaconess and say something like monkeys and cucumbers.It was terrifying for me, for Woody.  They rushed me down to ICU where after a while I began to slowly come out of it.  I was surrounded by 40 or so neurologists and would-bes.  They keep yelling questions at me. It was 3 a.m..  “If a lion eats a tiger, who won?”  etc.  This continued for hours. They put me in some awful machine. I think it was for an MRI but nobody told me and I had an episode of terrifying claustrophobia.  Also more X-rays. But now I glow in the dark.Finally a lab report came back.  I was almost devoid of electrolytes and sodium – from the all ridiculous water drinking.  I have since learned that exactly the same thing happened to two of my friends after operations.  Dan almost died before they diagnosed him properly.Anyhow, I recovered quickly and the PT and head nurse said I could go home Thursday but some doctor up in Valhalla said I had to stay another day.  Aw, hospital food.  The menu was three pages long and read like at least a 3 star restaurant. What came was inedible and mostly unhealthy, full of chemicals.  I had one successful item – a hard boiled egg.Friday @ 1:20 I was finally released and Woody could take me home.  I am always glad to come home for a trip, but this time, I was ecstatic.  The cats were very glad to see me but in for a shock and a disappointment, since I am still not much use and they cannot sit on my leg when I’m lying down.Anyhow I have a great physical therapist and she says I am well ahead of the curve. Of course that means she adds more exercises each visit without ever taking any away.  I counted and I’m doing 156 exercises every day.  then icing my knee for 20 minutes.  there isn’t much time to do anything else.  I can’t write on narcotic painkillers anyhow.  But I can proof the pages of my new and first collection of short stories, THE COST OF LUNCH, ETC. due in April.  I’m proud of it.Okay I’m off to do another set of excruciatingly painful mind numbing exercises, but every waking moment, glad I am home and not in some rehab facility.  The worst times are the nights when pain wakes me and it’s hard to get back to sleep.  At first woody stayed up all night and now I only need him once. The other times I can handle by myself, finally.