So much loss right now

We all die, of course, but Woody and I feel surrounded by death of late. A friend’s lifelong partner killed himself a couple of weeks ago. An elderly friend I’ve known for decades is dying. Our good friend Paul died suddenly in the hospital this week after he got a fever on top of everything else. His spouse Dan arrived from Nova Scotia with and met with some of Paul’s family at the hospital just as Paul was passing. Dan did not get to say goodbye, but Paul was totally unconscious anyway. Dan helped Paul’s family deal with some of the arrangements and then flew back to Nova Scotia to continue his medical treatments. His life was saved from a rare blood cancer by a complicated series of procedures he could never have paid for in the States but that were covered in Canada, which has a far superior medical policy than ours. As does every other modern industrial country.

The Super Bowl frenzy is on. Dale and Stephen will come over to eat supper and watch it Sunday. I’m determined to enjoy it however it goes and not get as sad as I have in the past if the Patriots lose. Last year Woody couldn’t stand it and when they finally were making a comeback, I had to go and root him out of his mancave to watch. I’d taped it, so together we watched the 2nd half, after he knew they’d won. He gets very emotional. I’ll make a great dinner – spoon roast, some kind of potatoes, avocado tomato salad, little individual chocolate mousses for dessert. Dale’s making shrimp hors d’oeuvres.

A friend who recently lost her partner came last night for supper. She doesn’t eat poultry or meat. Woody made one of his specialities, a tuna pasta dish. I was too tired to cook after exercising and then working on the new PC for hours trying to master it.

We brought the new PC upstairs three weeks ago, but then I started judging contests, I lost several days with the mishigas with Woody’s mother’s cat and never got even to turn the PC on 10. I hope no huge task or crisis occurs. My agent wants changes in my novel I am confused by. I feel she wants a different novel than the one I intended and wrote. Woody’s rereading the novel to make suggestions.

It was mild for a day or two but yesterday the temperature plunged. We had more snow — a wet snow that coats every branch and twig. Today it’s biting cold with wind. I’m getting restless and experiencing a bit of cabin fever. In the meantime, all contests finished and results sent off, I’m beginning to try to learn the PC, Windows 10, so I can get rid of my possessed and balky MAC and switch back after all these years to a PC. I cannot forgive Apple for erasing all my documents files when I downloaded El Capitan. It’s a long slog, especially since Woody insists I learn on the PC that is formatted for an assistant. He seems unconvinced I will actually learn to use Windows 10. It’s difficult because none of my files are on that computer and it’s not set up the way I like and can work on. I bought it when I hired Emily who claimed she was familiar with a PC and not a MAC but quit when it turned out she couldn’t actually use a PC with Windows 10 or anything like it. Dale works on the old MAC that several secretaries have used. The new PC’s set up the way Penny liked it, for the tasks she did for me. My novel isn’t on it nor are my current poems or correspondence or financial stuff. So there’s not much I can do with it – but I can learn some things as I’ve begun to do.

Wednesday night, my poetry group met and that was fun and useful. We each bring two new poems. Feedback was great. I already revised one of the poems I shared. The other poem, people only wanted a ‘the’ out, and I agreed. I always prune ‘the’s when I can.




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