Writers block and breaking through

I had only experienced writers block once before in my life, when my first male lover persuaded me my poems were shit and I stopped writing poems for six months – but was writing stories. The loss of all my document files threw me into a deep depression. But I’m slowly recovering at least the ones that are on my secretary’s computer – almost all my poems, most of my short stories, and all my weekly blogs. It’s a slow and tedious process, especially for Penny, less for me. We’ll be at it for at least the next month. What I can get from her computer is a small section of the files that were lost. To get data recovery in Boston, they would take the computer for a minimum of 10 business days and then a day taking it in and a day bringing it back. I can’t do without a computer for that long, at least two weeks.

But Wednesday I finally was able to write two poems and felt much less depressed. I had felt totally finished. Bit melodramatic, but that’s how I felt with all my poems and stories of the last three years gone. Slowly getting at least most of them back is a great relief, although there’s no way to replace all the other files, many of them personal and records I constantly use. A few files I will be able to recreate eventually, but it’s a small part of what was lost.

The air has been heavy and oppressive until lately when it turned down to the lower 70’s and dry, essentially what we expect of early fall. After the 6-7 inches of rain we had in the last storm, it’s not so bad to have a dry spell. The tomatoes are coming in very quickly. We’vecnned enough tomatoes, tomatoes sauces. The pole beans too are abundant. I’ve frozen 24 pounds and 5 half pounds and that’s enough. the zucchini are finished for the year. today we’ll have the last of the skimpy beets. we did not do well on beets this year. I don’t think they got thinned in time.

Today we’ll start planting fall lettuces and other greens, radishes, arugola, more dill. It’s time. Yesterday we had to get up @ 4:30 to go to Hyannis for Woody’s colonoscopy. On the way back, we stopped at PB’s Bouangerie. Woody had to stand in line for 24 minutes, but we got two great multigrain bagettes and 4 little fruit tarts. It got too cool to eat with my old friends Jeff and Eleanor in the gazebo as we had planned, so I finished off the ingredients for Salad Nicoise and we took them with the tarts and one of the breads to their rental, where we could eat inside. Evenings and nights have been quite, quite cool. Good sleeping weather.

The colonoscopy itself was quick and painless, but not being able to eat for a day before hand and then having to take that horrible solution really got to Woody. He was cranky. I ate but only a little for the day in solidarity. I couldn’t see making a meal he would smell but could not eat.

Political news continues grim and depressing. Trump has found cracks in the system that he is exploiting to please his base and bring down the useful parts of the government, while expanding the dangerous parts

 

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